05/12/2013

new release at bandcamp 'esc#1'...



for artists & galleries (volume 1) esc#1

about the  for artists & galleries  series

sounds and/or pieces of music to provide inspiration for artworks

serving suggestions

listen to the audio while creating your artworks
have the audio playing in the gallery when showing your work
use the audio in video installations

about this release

constructed from sounds available in the loop library metamorph from twisted tools
sequenced by the rolls of a pair of monopoly dice
these experimental sound collages can be listened to in the sequence provided or in any random order

original audio

the jesus and mary chain tv interview  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eY4ZXpsoOUg 

notes

for higher quality sound files/physical media contact  http://www.facebook.com/listentooldsargemusic

old sarge acknowledges the authorised and unauthorised use of third party audio and/or samples in these sound recordings

old sarge acknowledges the intellectual property rights and original copyright of the artists and parties involved in creating the audio and/or samples he has used in these sound recordings

old sarge welcomes the copying and free distribution of these sound recordings on a strictly not for profit basis

copyright © 2013 the original artist(s), brian thomson an erratic monkey production



fin

06/09/2013

some lightly polished turds for 'Cassette Store Day 2013'

some lightly polished turds have been released back into the wild for 'Cassette Store Day 2013'...

available here...  http://oldsarge.bandcamp.com  ...information follows:


 (not so old) sarge 1991-92 cassette demos

 previously ONLY available on cassette, now ONLY available digitally...

contrary? moi?

released to coincide with the perfectly ludicrous concept that is 'Cassette Store Day 2013', I will be the first to admit that this is an equally ludicrous concept...

a selection of guitar and drum machine instrumental demos, recorded straight to cassette in my bedroom in my parents house in, for the most part, one take...with no overdubs or the slightest semblance of production values whatsoever...

you have been warned...

three guitars were used...my trusty Fender Stratocaster...an old Eko acoustic, with a pickup...a sub-Jack White quality electric 6 string I got as a gift from an old high school friend that I decided, somewhat optimistically, to turn into a 12 string...

alternate tunings were stumbled upon and pressed into service...colour and texture was provided by overdrive, distortion, chorus, flanger and wah...

they're the Arion/Rocktek pedals still present and correct in my somewhat expanded pedal board...photo here...

http://www.facebook.com/listentooldsargemusic

the beats, where audible, were provided by my (still functioning to this very day) Boss DR-110 Dr Rhythm drum machine (circa 1983...good grief...)...

so, all of this crap was plugged into a Tandy (oh, the quality...) 2-channel 50w amp, setup for a trebly guitar sound that did the already tinny drum sounds no favours at all...

the resulting racket was captured for posterity on Maxell and TDK cassettes on The Colonel's lo-fi Realistic (oh, the quality...) home stereo...none of those fandangled 4-track recorders for me, no siree...

the final takes were then bounced onto other cassettes for safe keeping back in '91-'92 then, having been mostly ignored for 20 years, I finally got around to capturing the tracks digitally and, with only the lightest of turd polishing (limited to basic edits and volume/fade adjustments only), here they are for your, ahem, 'delectation'...

my influences at the time of recording have been reflected in the 2013 naming scheme for the tracks and, should you be interested in such trivia, the number in the name reflects the order they were originally recorded in...

when listening back to the tracks, some of these influences are more apparent than others...but if I can recall correctly, those were my intentions at the time...

as a consequence, as pieces of 'music' per se, I'll be the first to admit they're not very good...

then again, neither is the fetishisation of dead and dieing music formats...but, I digress...

anyway, I think you'll agree, there's no doubting my youthful zest, enthusiasm and invention, and that my ambition and imagination certainly exceeded the limitations of my technical prowess...

so, if you like a bit of shoegaze, noise pop, feedback and effects drenched squall, then you've come to the right place...

otherwise, you'd best fuck off with your ears (and any credibility I may have garnered with you with my more recent digital musical offerings) still intact...

all the best...  os  :))


fin

29/08/2013

new writing: are you being sarcastic, or just weird?

an extract from my impending essay/Beat novella: 

‘“Twitter? Now don’t get me started on that fucking shit…”
The Social Networking Pheno-mena-mena-doo-doo-do-do-do
(and the time we waste on it, Muppets that we are)’

catchy title, eh?

it’s probably best to stop here if you’ve got a short attention span, or have any semblance of taste and decency remaining…


…and, I'd like to make it clear to all and sundry that if I come across as a cynical, sarcastic, haughty, potty-mouthed, smart-arse know-it-all in this medium, well, that's because I am...

‘So, please don’t ‘Like’ any of my posts, it will only encourage me during periods of boredom to do more…’

‘I KNOW…hil-larious…’

I couldn’t have put it better myself…

anyway, I suppose if you’re going to use this medium, it’s probably best to get buck naked and jump right in there, so to speak, embrace it like a family member, disgraced in a sordid political scandal, just released from the local leper colony…

but, it’s all so shamelessly self-promotional, isn’t it, collecting associations from the flimsiest of connections, people you can, or could in the past, barely tolerate –

‘Who the FUCK cares?’

- in a pitiful, misguided attempt at making yourself feel relevant, worthwhile, accepted?

‘Look, you self-aggrandising social media whore…are you being sarcastic, or just weird? Because I just can't tell…’

‘Thank you,’ I smiled my reply…

something akin, perhaps, to sidling up to some minor celebrity on your first day at rehab, naked from the waist down, eyebrows drawn on with magic marker and an unsteady hand, face puffy from crying…you’ve thoughtfully brought a big box of belly button fluff, nail clippings and other assorted excreta and, while stirring the contents of the box vigorously with an unfeasibly large wooden pan handle, you scream in their face –

‘READ my pointless WORDS!
LOOK at my dirty PICTURES!
LISTEN to my awful MUSIC!
FUUUCKING LOOOOVE MEEEEEEEE!’

- over and over and over again…

surreptitiously at first, you hasten, inevitably, into a brazen masturbation frenzy…all the while, in full view of your horrified family, friends, and the massed ranks of the world’s media…you fall to your knees, spent, and revel in a strange sensation, a potent, intoxicating mixture of self-loathing and pride…

yes…a potent, intoxicating mixture of self-loathing and pride…

yes, like pissing in the face of a beloved, perhaps recently deceased, member of the Royal Family…so utterly compelling, but oh so completely unnecessary –

‘Are you fucking SERIOUS?’

- yes, it’s exactly like that, yes, yes, yes…only without the unwelcome Police attention and resultant custodial sentence…

‘Take me away Officer, I can’t stand this a moment longer…take me away…I’m withdrawing from the human race…’


fin

26/08/2013

new poem: my tattoo


my tattoo 

in my own misguided way 
I choose to express my individuality 
to honour the things I love 
by not etching images and spurious text 
cod philosophy and raison d’etre 
into my aged and sagging flesh


fin

15/08/2013

new noise available...

new tracks have been uploaded to  http://oldsarge.bandcamp.com/  and  http://soundcloud.com/oldsarge  for your general ambivalence and disinterest...

downloads and listens are free...

there's some lo-fi clank 'n' drone, mangled and badly played blues, and some foolishness assembled some time ago on 'guitar hero world tour'...

you have been warned...

fin

07/08/2013

25/06/2013

digital art installation...'where did all the time go?'


'art'...really?...

'self referential bollocks'...well, yes, now you're getting it...

it's called 'where did all the time go?'...

for obvious reasons, really...

fin

13/03/2013

my bloody valentine disappointments, parts 1 and 2...

first, there was the album...quiet, by modern standards, don't you think?

did someone accidentally knock the treble fader with their elbow when mastering it, giving it a dull, muffled feel?

and what is all this audophillic bullshit about mastering from analogue tape...see all of the above?

an impression of polished demos that needed a bit more work and inspiration...

you have to ask, is this all by design, or just sheer bloody mindedness?

an impression that it would have been fine as an additional disc of 'lost tracks' with another release, perhaps, but as a stand-alone album?

oh, let me tell you, as a huge fan, i've tried and tried, tried to love it...

but my inclinations are to turn up the treble, cut some of the tracks down to loveless-esque interludes between tracks, resequence it, remix it, make it louder, finish it off...

maybe i need to wait for the digital remaster to come out, ha ha ha...

perhaps i was expecting something of a bigger progression, like previous albums, not a treading of water...

some tracks with a 'city girl' feel, perhaps, or something that would give a buzz, similar to hearing the extra tracks on the ep re-release album last year for the first time...

but that disappointment paled into insignificance compared to what was to follow...

second, the gig at the glasgow barrowlands, 9th march 2013...

i can't dress it up in any other way, the sound was fucking shit...

a total absence of treble and bass, just a huge middley BLUUUURRGGGHHHH from start to finish...

the drums were just audible, but the vocals were mixed so low, it was for all intents and purposes an instrumental set...

a total absence of dynamics in the sound, it was all on or all off...

it's not enough to just be loud...actually, has the h&s executive neutered live gigs because, to my ears, it wasn't that loud? not like it was in 1992 anyway...

what was the live sound engineer/mixer up to, couldn't he fucking hear it was shite like the rest of us?

again, you have to ask, is this all by design, or just sheer bloody mindedness?

you know that bit in 'soon' where the guitar kicks in and shudders and you should feel it, it should move you, re-arrange your internal organs some?...forget about it...

'to here knows when' was tragic...

that's when i gave up, stopped cheering at the end of the songs...i was something i never thought i'd be at a mbv gig, i was bored...

'you made me realise'...that's an emperor's new clothes moment, surely...let me say it for you, it's okay...

that's just wanky bollocks, right?

don't get me wrong, i respect their right to do wanky bollocks, and to its credit, it made my jeans, and possibly my genes, literally flap, shook the booze in my plastic glass, and the earplugs finally did come in handy...

once again, you have to ask, is this all by design, or just sheer bloody mindedness?

to end on a more up note, the light show was good, spoiled only by wankers taking photos and videos with their phones...

what is it with people? can't they just remember they were there? describe to people in words what it was like?

HOW AM I DOING?

I WAS THERE, I SAW IT...

sigh...

fin

15/05/2012

new acoustic tunes and all downloads now free at bandcamp

hello all...

by no demand whatsoever, there's a bunch of new acoustic tracks to listen to and download over at bandcamp...

if I can be arsed at some point, I may update the reverbnation player with them too...

also, all individual tracks and albums can be downloaded from bandcamp in whatever format you'd like for free...

that is all...

fin

27/01/2012

new poem/lyrics...

perhaps imagined

I’m constantly catching glimpses
of perhaps imagined arachnids, insects
rodents and other assorted vermin
scuttling through the half-lit places
in the shadowy peripheries of my eye
there are things you can’t put your hand on
just out of sight, just out of reach
who’s to say that they’re not there?

updated lyrics/poem...

it's a dirty job

I make house calls for the servicing of
faulty bullshit detectors
I am the industry’s pre-eminent
tv-phone-sex chat line chiropractor
I specialise in pre-funeral chiropody
for dead and dieing third world dictators
my bamboo allergy hasn’t prevented me
becoming an expert giant panda fellator

it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it
it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it

I run the clean-up crew on the QE2
when a royal orgy’s been in full swing
I’ll procure a swan with bra and panties on
if that’s your kind of thing
I provide hand relief and retrieval of broken teeth
after ill-advised liaisons with drunken priests
my masters degree in koala cunnilingus has left me
with an aversion of eucalyptus leaves

it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it
it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it

05/01/2012

new lyrics/poem...

it's a dirty job

I'm available for house calls to service your faulty bullshit detector
I am the industry's pre-eminent tv-phone-sex chat line chiropractor
I specialise in pre-funeral chiropody for dead and dieing third world dictators
my bamboo allergy hasn't prevented me becoming an expert giant panda fellator

it's a dirty job but someone's got to do it
it's a dirty job but someone's got to do it

I run the clean-up crew on the QE2 when a royal orgy's been in full swing
I'll procure a swan with bra and panties on if that's your kind of thing
I provide hand relief and retrieval of broken teeth after ill-advised liaisons with drunken priests
my masters degree in koala cunnilingus has left me with an aversion of eucalyptus leaves

it's a dirty job but someone's got to do it
it's a dirty job but someone's got to do it

06/12/2011

old sarge bandcamp pricing policy

ahoy...

you can now listen to old sarge's complete discography at  http://oldsarge.bandcamp.com/  and .mp3s at 128kbps can be harvested from your Temporary Internet Files folder (or Mac equivalent), should you so desire...if you'd like an album of a track at higher fidelty or in a different format, you can purchase albums and tracks to download...

you can name your price, subject to my minimum pricing policy (see below), or for a lot of tracks specify no charge, and in exchange for your e-mail address, you can get a free download...

tracks are uploaded to bandcamp in CD quality .wav format, and the downloads are available in .wav, 320kbps .mp3, or just about any other format you would like...

single track pricing:

£1.49 minimum long tracks
£0.99 minimum standard track
£0.49 minimum demo/live track
£0.00 minimum short tracks, alternate versions, tracks featuring third party audio, remixes (e-mail address required for free downloads)

album pricing:

£1.34 minimum long tracks
£0.89 minimum standard track
£0.44 minimum demo/live track
£0.00 minimum short tracks, alternate versions, tracks featuring third party audio, remixes (e-mail address required for free downloads)

albums have been priced as totals of all of the tracks at the discounted prices above...further discounts may be applied, such as 6 tracks for the price of 5...

extra/hidden content may be available with album downloads...

if you are a maker of noise and haven't come across bandcamp yet, check it out, it ticks just about all of the boxes...

no sign up fee, a 26+ minute track length limit, 200 free downloads a month (you can purchase more for a minimal fee), no apparent limits to the amount of content you can up load, no fees except 10% of your sales, proceeds of which go straight into your paypal account...

why piss around with iTunes or any of the rest of that bollocks when you can have almost complete control yourself?

as I say, check it out...os  :))

fin

new biography and links

to celebrate the inexorable decline of myspace and revel in the dying of its light, I give you...

the newest, and hopefully final, resting place for all things musical in the old sarge cannon...free music, with the option to purchase albums and tracks in a range of formats and fidelities... http://oldsarge.bandcamp.com/

my friends from Retrogramme have started their own label, and have taken me under their wing... http://www.redbasementrecords.com/

still active here, from time to time...

http://www.reverbnation.com/oldsarge
http://www.reverbnation.com/oldsarge#!/oldsargemusic
http://www.facebook.com/listentooldsargemusic
http://www.acidplanet.com/artist.asp?songs=514134&T=6589
http://soundcloud.com/oldsarge
http://www.last.fm/music/old+sarge

an updated biography, if I may...

old sarge…a source of hearing damage, since 1971…guitar, musical alchemy, tune and wordsmithery…

old sarge is the online persona/creative smokescreen of Brian Thomson of West Lothian, Scotland…a guitarist and writer by inclination, a maker of loop/sample based music by inspiration…

he's had a modicum of success in his chosen fields of self expression…he's had a few poems published in a number of publications, and participated in poetry readings…he's played a couple of live guitar sets to the general disinterest of his work colleagues at two xmas parties…and he's had a number of pieces of music played on BBC radio in the UK...

from rudimentary remixes of Prince tracks on a twin cassette deck in the 80's, he moved on to six albums worth of indie/shoegaze guitar and drum machine home demos recorded during '91 and '92…a few years after that, he had his first taste of cutting and pasting together sounds on a PC...

it was around this time that he read William S Burroughs' 'Mildred Pierce Reporting', where he was first introduced to the character 'Old Sarge', and creating music began to subside into the periphery as he concentrated on assembling his poetry collections, 'Three Cornered Boxing Ring', 'Sweet And Tender Hooligan' and 'An Impromptu Fish'…

after nearly a decade of relative inactivity, it was during '06 that he stumbled across an old copy of Sonic Foundry's Acid DAW, discovered ACIDplanet.com with its bountiful supply of free loops and remix contests, and the online persona of 'old sarge' began to emerge…

"a new piece of music will normally spring from a combination of a few interesting loops…an inspiring combination of sounds will be sketched out into a rough track, then more loops/samples will be added and, with a little gentle persuasion and musical alchemy, something listenable will normally emerge…the mood of the track might suggest a title, or some inspiration may be sought from film or television, which in turn may then influences the direction of the music…"

"most of the resulting pieces could be labelled dance, electronica or industrial, sometimes with the suggestion of a film/TV soundtrack, and are normally of an instrumental nature…sometimes a bit of film or TV dialog will sneak into the mix, and on occasion a bit of spoken word or poetry might be included…"

hear him channelling Bobby Gillespie on 'requiem for a dream', and as guest vocalist on Retrogramme's 'Freak Show'…

"so far, this has been almost exclusively a solo project...but, if you'd like to collaborate in some way, add vocals to a track, or indulge yourself in a spot of remixing, please don't hesitate to get in contact...or, if you think I might have something to add to a project of your own, I'm open to suggestions...enjoy…"

fin

22/09/2010

new track, 'the unaskable question'....

excuse me....if you don't mind, I'm just going to interupt our pathalogical disinterest in each other's lives once again....while away the best part of a quarter of an hour in the company of a new piece of music, 'the unaskable question', streaming in one or three parts here and there, or download the complete track for $2.49 from my reverbnation store....listen to it four times straight, and lose an hour of your life you'll never, ever, get back again....enjoy....os :))

the unaskable question

the unaskable question (part 1 of 3)
the unaskable question (part 2 of 3)
the unaskable question (part 3 of 3)

old sarge welcomes the copying and free distribution of this music on a strictly not for profit basis

copyright © 2010 brian thomson an erratic monkey production

for more information: http://www.myspace.com/listentooldsargemusic

17/05/2010

alchemy (volume 1) now on sale....

evening....

that's me sorted the 'achemy (volume 1)' ep over at the reverbnation store....a measly $4.99 for 6 tracks, or $0.99 a track, you pays your loot, you takes your choice....they've even made up some ringtones, for fucks sake....$2.49 or some shit like that....

you can also download a .pdf for a cd insert, should you be so inclined, from my skydrive....

enjoy....os  :))

fin


13/05/2010

guitar sketches streaming in myspace player....

morning....

Friday last week I found myself with a little time on my hands and a few tune ideas buzzing around my head....

recorded on my mobile phone, these are the guitar sketches currently streaming in my myspace player....

solo guitar, no drums or fuck-all else, with a fairly abrasive sounding guitar tone, they won't be to everyone's ear....no frills sketches of ideas I want to get sorted out into full tracks....

I intend to replace them with fuller versions as they progress, treat the myspace player as a little 'demo diary' of sorts, perhaps....

seems like a good idea at the time, as all my bad ideas turn out to....hahahahaaaaa....

enjoy....os  :))

fin

'alchemy (vol. 1)' ep now streaming in reverbnation player....

good day....

the 'alchemy (vol. 1)' ep is now streaming in my reverbnation player (that's probably the noise you're hearing just now)....

1. requiem for a dream
2. season of excess
3. dexter morgan
4. the dark passenger
5. artschooldiscoindiedance
6. requiem for a dream (instrumental)

the individual tracks can be puchased from my reverbnation store at a measly $0.99 a pop....320kbps mp3s, for your listening pleasure....

if I can get some artwork sorted out (sooner rather than later), I'm hoping to make it available as an album from the reverbnation store, and at a reduced price....

that's the plan, anyway....enjoy....os  :))

fin

26/03/2010

a little something for guitarists out there....

afternoon....

if you're a guitarist, and are struggling to find a decent form on the net for jotting down your song ideas, weird chord voicings and what have you, this form I've put together might be your thing....

click
HERE, and in the 'other' folder, you'll find a .zip file with a .doc, a .pdf and a .jpeg version....

plenty of chord boxes, a wee bit of room for a bit of tab for those widdly/melodic bits, and a bit of room at the bottom for some notes/what frets the chords sound good at/how you put the whole lot together and play the fucker....  ;))

I tend to play a lot of open, ringing/droney stuff with chords I have no idea what to call, hence the form....and, I don't trust my memory either, being not as young as I once was, you know how it is....

I might even get around to posting up a few of these in the future, an os 'chord of the week' kinda nonsense....we'll see....

anyway, time to get back to the grindstone....enjoy....os  :))

fin

new track: artschooldiscoindiedance

good afternoon....

I've uploaded a new track, 'artschooldiscoindiedance', to my various pages/players hither and yon across the internet....

that should be the noise you're hearing just now from my reverbnation widget in the sidebar to your right, if it's working as well as it normally does....


if you like what you hear, and have a measly $0.99 to spare, you can also purchase a 320kbps mp3 of it from my reverbnation store....other tracks are also available....  :))

as you may have guessed from its title, it's a little number for y'all to jig around your handbags to, girls and boys, but with enough guitar action to keep the less effeminate of us from losing interest (hopefully)....hahahahaaaa....

it was going to be called 'artschooldiscogayboyindiedance', as I think it has a touch of the Franz Ferdinand in there, and well, you can work out the rest....but I thought that may cause offence and, well, that's not the idea....the track is offensive enough as it is, hahahaaaa....

anyway, that's enough guff for now....enjoy....os  :))

fin

16/03/2010

a (brief) introduction to old sarge....

greetings, gentle listeners....

old sarge....guitar, musical alchemy, tune and wordsmithery....making the most of my meagre talent, hahahahaaaaa....  :))

"I've invented a new genre....this is what I call '(can't and won't) dance music'....why? why not...." :))

this '(can't and won't) dance music' encompasses a bunch of other genres, namely and often simultaneously (though not exclusively and, in no particular order)....

industrial....idm....drone....shoegaze....indie....soundtracks/cinematic/film music....dark ambient....you know, I just throw sounds I like at the wall and see what sticks....  :))

I have profiles at myspace, reverbnation, acidplanet.com and, if you really insist, facebook....and at a bunch of other sites, here, there and everywhere, last.fm, jango.com, etc, etc....there's links over there to your right....or google 'listentooldsargemusic'....

you can listen to all my stuff on the reverbnation player, and the myspace blog has some of my writing, poems, and mis/uninformed, opinionated tosh....  ;))

you can download all of my pre-2010 tunes for FREE, all 320kbps mp3, from my skydrive, in password protected zip files....sorry about that, but it's just my half-arsed way of seeing if anyone is interested in this crap....contact me for the password(s) for the files, they're free too, hahahaaaa....  :))

you can purchase my post-2009 tunes, all 320kbps mp3, from my profile at reverbnation....

and why am I starting this blog? not quite sure yet, but this, like all of my bad ideas, seems like a good one at the time....

enjoy....os  :))

fin