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new poem: an indifferent old man on the passing of the monarch

an indifferent old man on the passing of the monarch an old woman is dead she died alone cold starving in poverty and in pain grieved by no one an unmarked grave the cats having eaten her face food banks energy price caps war induced economic crash the world continues to spin nothing to see here let’s move on the bbc reporter talks of rainbows the nation stops in the rain collectively cries out in pain… do we get the day off…again? I hug my teenage daughter in her sex pistols t-shirt and put the cd on again… god save the queen there’s no future and england’s dreaming we love our queen god saves an old woman is dead didn’t die alone cold starving in poverty or in pain grieved by her family a state funeral but enough of the reverential tones black ties and doffed caps flags at half mast the world continues to spin nothing to see here let’s move on the bbc reporter talks of rainbows the nation stops in the rain collectively cries out in pain… do we get the day off…again? I hug my teenage

new poem: my body's a temple

my body’s a temple   me? get a tattoo? on this body? pffft! you lost your Elgin Marbles? that would be like spray painting a giant dobber on the Parthenon

new poem: daddy, what did you do on the great liv golf tour?

daddy, what did you do on the great liv golf tour? languishing in vainglory Greg orchestrated lifelong fantasy to overthrow usurp rule-makers lacking in virtue glosses over lewd felony torturing oily ugly regime linked inexorably-to violence gangsters orate ludicrous falsehoods tawdry objectional underhand ridiculous luckless immolated viciously gutting ordered later flayed Turkey objects UN ruminates  lucre incentivised vulgarity got our little field talented old unknown riders liquidate inconvenient values greed overruns living freely televised-for our underwhelmed revulsion laughable inferior version grand overtures lack finesse treachery obscured unhinged razamataz lest infantile vengeance grunts out languid farts Trumpian orchestra underdressed ruler losers in victory graceless objects ladies forgotten todays ordinary useless relics legacy ignominy vacancy gender obfuscation lecherous finance twisted offal upskirt righteousness

new poem: its hard to saunter with a stauner

its hard to saunter with a stauner check out the hair on the heir inveterate liar hiding in his lair its hard to saunter with a stauner the bus fare was incredibly fair this mince n tatties, sweetheart, really is the shit pair of twats blootered on cider one hundred percent pear their morals found rotting somewhere over there bare arsed cheeks too much to bear gods envoked it pisses down cats and dogs  races enrich bookies save the occasional scare hoses deployed wash away tattie shaw shoes crate of powder disappeared no discernible trace gangsters rage about stolen gear hips fluid bosun takes a pish over the side of the ship corpulent swine fat fuck a ducks quaffing their wines dust mites of relativity might smite the editor of The Times wary of things going spectacularly awry ream of cloth plummets flattens escaped mare flares double denim shades such nonchalant flair wears it well, she does…I swear flesh slithered free from the second top shelf felt for a pulse but nothing was left

new poem: living la vida loca

living la vida loca   lets ignore viciousness lets invest venereally lets immolate voluntarily   lets include vassals lets indebt vouchsafe lets ingratiate verily   lets ingest voluminously lets inherit vastly lets idiotize victory   lets idolise-the vanquished lets insist-on vaingloriousness lets inhabit-a vacuum   lets interrogate validity lets interpret veneer lets inhale vermillion   lets not

in flight golf: testing Premium vs Range balls and GC2 vs TrackMan Range data

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new poem: if you happen to find yourself drowning

if you happen to find yourself drowning I used to think I was a rock jutting proud from the ocean something to lash your rope to when the water got choppy something to cling on to if you happened to find yourself drowning while floating by now it has become apparent I'm more of a barnacle encrusted pile barely visible above the water a little rotten, perhaps, ravaged by time but still able to perform the same function if you happen to find yourself drowning while floating by 20220518

Death Star Text Exchange

[Imperial Technicians recently provided this transcript of a secret, coded Rebel transmission.]   [Apparently, it’s an exchange between old sarge and his work colleague, MW, fellow Star Wars fans and ‘Rebel scum’...] Hi MW, are you in the office or do you have the RAS fob to hand, fella? [Editor’s note:   in an ensuing telephone call, it turned out MW was leaving the office in 20 mins for a galaxy, far, far away, and it was then a race against time for old sarge to get connected to the customer system before MW left the secret Rebel base on the moon orbiting Yavin 4 for the day...] Just a couple more minutes...Death Star approaching... 😜 MW:  LOL Starting Death Star trench run, Red 13 going in... MW:  😆😆😆😆😆 What's this on the NavComputer...must update McAfee before torpedo launch can be initiated...WTF!? Do I need to get out and THROW them?? 😡😜 MW:  Use The Force Who said that? Some Auld guy in a duffle coat last seen on a talking bear?! Too